Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Heaven Questions

Last night at bedtime Lilli said “mommy, I don’t want to go to heaven yet”. She proceeded to have tears run down her face and kept naming things she would miss and was asking if they had those things in heaven. She said “I know mommy, you can come with me… I will hold your hand and we can go together”….

I held it together for about 5 minutes and then just held her and cried with her. How in the world do I answer her? I just kept saying “heaven is the most beautiful place and you will have everything you could ever want or need”. She kept asking when she is going and all I could say it “God will decide”. It tears my heart apart. I’m petrified of our future. I can’t imagine life without her for one second.

I’m so scared for what is to come. No one knows what is going on with her as of yet. I’m working on getting things in order so we can head to Boston for the procedure… and I’m just plain sick about the whole thing.