We were having a wonderfully successful morning… got 4 loads
of laundry done, washed the floor, cleaned the kitchen, and got some good mommy
daughter playing time in. And then Lilli went down for nap and a culmination of
(repressed) emotions exploded to the surface.
I’m not sure if it’s because Lilli’s 3rd Birthday
is in a few days (one I wasn’t sure we would ever see at times), or because it’s
CHD awareness month, or because I’ve been seeing countless stories of other
children with medical/heart issues everywhere I turn, BUT I lost it.
It’s so hard to know what Lilli will still have to endure,
it’s hard to see her lips get blue even with the slightest physical activity,
it’s hard to feel the “rattling” in her lungs when you hold her, it’s hard to
see your little toddler put her hands on her knees and say “whew I need a break”…..
But in the same breath I must say that we are so blessed! She is HOME, happy,
and thriving and that is BEAUTIFUL.
Guess sometimes you just need to turn on the waterworks and
get it out.
