Lilliana decided to meet the whole PICU team right away when she came up.... she decided to have her heart "off beat", spike her blood pressure, and get really cold. It seemed like forever that we got to see her and we had no clue what was going on. They were able to get her stabilized and now she in on the meds to control her blood pressure and they gave her volume (fluid) to help. She is on a pacer... a portable external pacemaker. This part freaks me out a bit.
Overall I think we are still in a very good place. They said none of this is out of the realm of "normal" for a fontan procedure.
I whispered in her ear "mommies here" and she wiggled her head a bit and kind of opened her eyes. It seemed like every time I even came close to her bed she would wiggle :) She is still very sedated and has the breathing tube and they won't start weaning her off any pain meds tonight. They have assured us that she will be "out" for the night.
I came back to sleep tonight (as this may be my last chance for a long time and I already haven't slept for 5 nights). It hurt to walk in here and see her toys and stuff an not have her here. I miss her sooooo much!
"God please be with Lilliana through the night. Please let her know mommy is with her but needs to rest in order to be the best mommy. Let her rest in comfort and heal. Please keep her a stable and progressing upwards as much as you can. Please let her feel how loved she is and hold her for me if she is worried, hurt, or scared," AMEN
